The Bucket List (Stacy’s)

This was (kind of) inspired by Sandman’s list. Truth is, it started as a 40 by 40 list. The good thing about having a list with a finite end, is it makes you choose more realistic goals. And I firmly believe that real goals should be both realistic and have a definite end. The bad part is, however, that establishing strict time lines (before making your list) doesn’t let you dream big.
Plus, you have to think of 40 things. I’m turning 39 in a couple of days and I haven’t even finished the damn list (which I started writing a little more than a year ago).
So, thanks to Sandman, I’m removing the arbitrary time limit. I pulled out my notebook with my original 40 by 40 and I’m crossing some stuff off, letting myself rethink some of them and just doing a general edit.  I warn you. It’s not a very exciting list. (Oh, and it’s in not in order of importance. It’s in order of when-I-thought-of-stuff.)

1. Do an open mike night (comedy).
2. Win a “real” trophy at a big tournament.
3. Black belt. :)
4. Participate in one amateur MMA fight. (Rethinking this one because of #27.)
5. Reach 160 lbs.
6. Teach a women’s self defense class.
7. Show a piece of artwork in a gallery.
8. Lead a seminar or give a presentation. (Killed it.)
9. Read the Bible. (Mainly because there’s a couple of politicians that I’m pretty sure are wrong about some of the stuff they say is in there. I really need to read it straight through to be sure, though.)
10. Do a chin-up.
11. Learn passable Japanese. (Right now, I can introduce myself, count to 20, and yell out random colors and nouns. Oh, I also have a decent collection of swear words my elder daughter taught me.)
12. Visit Toronto. (I heard it’s just like a foreign country up there.)
13. Participate in NASKA for a season. (Was planning to do this one at 40 – it’s right after an age division break.)
14. Build a working trebuchet.
15. Meet my half brother in person. (Haven’t seen him since I was 2 or something. And how messed up is it that I thought of this after building a trebuchet and visiting Toronto?)
16. Get over the whole bridge phobia thing. (It’s getting old and I want to be able to go places -- like St. Louis or Iowa -- whenever I want. )
17. Go horseback riding. (I’ve done this before as a child. It’s just been a really long time and I thought it would be cool to do it again.)
18. Go skinny dipping.
19. Meet Jillian Michaels. (She is so freakin’ cool.)
20. Do a sexy dance for my hubby. ::blush::
21. Participate in a Karaoke night at a bar.
22. Inspire someone to do something really awesome.
23. Find more time to puppy pile – ongoing. (“Puppy piles” are where the whole family flops on a single couch or the big bed in the parent’s room to watch TV or read a book together. Not particularly exciting…but it’s nice.)
24. Throw a Halloween party.
25. Learn to wrap presents.
26. Learn to rap. (Word.)
27. Get eyebrow pierced. (Rethinking this one. See #4.)
28. Get a portrait tattoo of my dad.
29. Go canoeing.
30. Full splits.
31. Wear a cute Japanese school girl cosplay costume.
32. Added 12/31/2011: Find some really great women martial artists and interview them for the blog. (I didn’t say female because, although there are talented girls out there, I want to find adult women those girls can look up to and use as inspiration on their journey into adulthood.)
33. Added 12/31/2011: Win one Grands. (Just one…I’m not greedy.)
34. Added 12/31/2011: Buy an external mic for my video camera. (So, when I do #32, people can hear it.)
35. Added 1/15/2012: Visit Okinawa.

Just for the record, I’m also rethinking #26. I would like to know how to rap, but I’m not really sure if I really want to learn how to do it. (If that makes sense.) I feel the same way about tango dancing and a half dozen other things.

Preparing for New Years

I hope your Christmas (or other) holiday was filled with family, friends and satisfying foods. Now that the presents have been opened and my house has returned to its usual (and comforting) state of disorder, it’s time to start the prep work for New Years.

To make sure the kids at the dojo start their year off right, I gave each of them a cheap planner for 2012. I spent 20-minutes at Dollar General, seriously comparing the difference in size and quality between the 50-cent planner and the dollar version. In the end, I decided to fork over the cash for the more expensive planners, because it provided more room for writing inside each date (and some of our kids are just learning to write).

When I gave them their presents, I explained that every day, starting on New Years, I wanted them to write down what they did for practice and to bring their calendars back so I could see what they did.

“You can write down anything karate-related,” I told them, figuring the important part right now is to get into the habit of writing stuff down. We can work on their actual practice habits, later.

“Anything?” one of the older girls challenged. “You mean if I watch The Karate Kid, I can write it down?”

I seriously thought about putting forth the provision that she could only record it if she watched the Ralph Macchio version, but then thought better of it.

“Absolutely. If you spend New Year’s watching a Bruce Lee movie marathon, you can write both Enter the Dragon and  Fists of Fury separately.” (Yah, I know, he’s Kung Fu. I’m making a point here.)

My elder daughter waited until everyone else got their calendars. “Can I have one?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said handing her one. “You know the rules.”

“I’m going to practice every day and write everything down.” There was a manic gleam in her eye.

Then, I let her in on a little secret: everyone was going to get stickers when they remembered to both practice and fill out their calendar. There may even be opportunities to earn extra stickers during the year.

“Stickers?! YES!” she exclaimed, working herself into a competitive frenzy. “I’m going to earn MORE stickers than ANYBODY!”

It’s a little soon to tell, but it looks like this idea may be a winner. My elder daughter’s over-the-top enthusiasm aside, the kids looked excited to get their planners. I can’t wait to find out who remembers to bring their calendars to the first class after our break.

In addition to getting everyone to write down what we do every day, I’ll be talking to Team-MSOI about goal setting and deliberate practice. And, my assistant coach, wants to do more conditioning with the kids.

I’m still working on my personal goals for the upcoming year. Typically, I make my resolutions on my birthday, which is just after New Years. It gives me a couple extra days to think about things. Do you have any dojo goals for the upcoming year? Do you have any personal martial arts related goals that I can steal?

Reader Question: Why Don’t More Women Compete and What Can Be Done?

BFF Teri and Stacy at Holiday Tournament, Dec. 4, 2011, in Gary, IN. Although Teri and I
attend "sister" schools, we met for the first time at a tournament.

A reader sent us this email:

I am a brownbelt and have been urged by my classmates and blackbelts to compete in tournament fighting.  I am 42 and feeling some sense of "now or never" setting in.  I have heard (and seen) that "not that many women sign up" and find this kind of sad. … I am curious on your thoughts of why more women don't sign up and what the event coordinators can do to encourage more women to sign up.

I wish I knew why there aren’t more women in competitive karate. In the little kids’ divisions, the girls often outnumber the boys. Then, when the age divisions go up, the number of girls participating goes down. Interest in karate seems to decrease as a girls’ interest in boys increases. There’s probably a mathematic formula that shows the relationship more definitively.

For adult women, maybe it’s because involvement in fighting arts is viewed as “unseemly” or “inappropriate.” Also, as women, we’re trained to put our desires away so we can help our children, husbands (or partners) achieve their desires. Money is always tight. Why would we take money from the family budget for something as selfish as going to a tournament in St. Louis? Why should we spend good money on an entry fee for a tournament when our kids want to go to Anime conventions or the mall?

But what do I know about what motivates other women? All I know is that I started because, if I kept doing what I was before, I was probably going to die. I love competition and tournaments gave me the motivation to keep moving and get in shape.

One way for event coordinators to bring more women to tournaments is offering free admission for women who pre-register. That way there’s less of a monetary risk for the women who wish to go (without knowing if there will be a large division). The number of women who registered early can then be used to attract more women competitors.

I know what you’re thinking, Stacy wants to compete for free. OK, sure, who wouldn’t?  But there’s a bigger issue here.

When an event coordinator takes care to make sure that all competitors (or as many as possible) have a positive experience, he is improving the tournament for everyone. If you have an otherwise great tournament, but only 3 adult women show up, three of your competitors will tell other martial artists, “It was an OK tournament, I just wish the divisions were larger.” It taints the experience.

I’ve been to a few tournaments that had a large number of women competing. (And ones that didn’t offer free admission to women. It was just one idea, guys!) The first one that comes to mind is the Silver Sun Showdown in St. Louis. The year I went, there were ten women in the senior division (35+). TEN! OK, for sparring, there were three of us. If I remember correctly, however, IHOF (Isshinryu Hall of Fame) tournament had several women fighters.

What do you think? How can tournament coordinators attract more women competitors, particularly fighters? Is it even their responsibility?

PS - Go ahead and sign up for a tournament. If there's no one in your division, you can ask to spar up or go with a different age division. The judges don't always let you; sometimes they come up with other options. Be open. And, sometimes, when there's a lot of competitors, you still only get to spar once.

8th Annual Karate Holiday Tournament – Round Up

BFF Teri and I attended the Annual Holiday Tournament in Gary, IN. We decided to drive up separately, but I followed her in my car. Basically we realized that sometimes, when we compete against each other, the ride home can be long and uncomfortable. And our friendship is worth more than saving a few bucks in tolls and gas.

So, on the plus side, I conquered the Des Plaines River Valley Bridge. (Twice.) I told Teri the secret was keeping my eyes focused on her huge rear end. (She was driving a full-size van.) And I made it across without passing out or peeing my pants. Although, I freely admit I may have cried just a little.

We arrived incredibly early and I was more hyperactive that usual. (I did mention we drove across a huge, scary bridge, right?) We met up with Chris and Natasha, who we’ve hung out with in the past. And we met a couple other people from their dojo. We had a lot of fun taking and posing for pictures. It was also a great opportunity to talk to other black belts (of varying ranks) about things like classroom management.

Now, for the fun stuff.

Weapons

Teri and I each got first in our divisions for Weapons. Of course, Teri actually earned hers whereas I got first because I was the only one in my age division. As soon as I realized I literally had no competition, I called out “Hey, Teri, I made Grands!” and started giggling.

“What?”

“I’m the only one, I get to go to Grands.”

“That’s not fair.”

I shrugged my shoulders. In truth, I didn’t really think it’s fair either. Don’t get me wrong, I still competed in Grands. I figured: (1) I need more practice performing my new kata in front of judges, (2) it was my only chance, at this tournament, to see how I’d score against other people, and (3) it’s not like I actually thought I had a chance of winning.

Scoring at the AKA tournaments is on a curve. What I mean is that a judge gives the person he thinks should win first place a 9.99, the person who should get second place will be scored 9.98 and so on. Our ring had three judges, Teri’s division had two people and they tied. That means that one of the judges gave the same score twice. (There was much confusion among competitors in the other divisions over this. How could there be a tie with only two people?) The judges, with the competitors’ approval, voted on the winner instead of making them perform another kata. Teri won a split in a split decision.

As a side note, after my “division,” when I was shaking hands with the judges, my only comment came from a judge who said “You know, the sai are a very difficult weapon.” (Ouch.)

Forms

I competed against Natasha in forms. (Apparently, she’s working on a new weapon’s kata that she didn’t feel was ready for competition, which is why I was all by myself before.) Anyway, I did a decent Kusanku. I can honestly say it was one of my better performances of the kata but it wasn’t good enough for first place.
My only comment from a judge was that I "needed more power." Which leads me to think, once again, that I have no idea what the judges want when they say that. I cannot punch or kick any harder or any faster than I am…so they HAVE to be looking for something else.

And, by no means, should my griping be taken to mean that I thought I deserved higher scores than Natasha. I agree she out performed me. I just don’t understand what judges mean by “more power.” I mean, I’ve been competing for three years and hearing the same frickin’ criticism at every frickin’ tournament I go to. So, this can only mean:  (1) I don’t care (which you know isn’t true), (2) I’m incredibly stupid (which I really hope isn’t true) or (3) there’s something I’m just not getting.

Teri did Sunsu. It’s always strange to see her perform that kata, because it looks so different from the way I learned it. She also got second, but she also got some useful criticism from one of her judges. I watched as he walked through the opening movements with her, demonstrating what he wanted to see. The difference: she asks for comments from the judges, whereas I just consider myself lucky when a judge offers his comments.

Recognition

After forms, I ran upstairs to grab a snack from concessions. I forgot to pack my usual tournament snacks (fruit, nuts, paleo brownies) and was trembling from hunger. Of course, there were no paleo-friendly foods, so I scarfed down a hotdog, considering it the lesser of the concession stand evils. (Side note: I think we should bring tail-gating to martial arts tournaments. Imagine a bunch of martial arts families trying to outdo each other with their grilling prowess.)

On my way back, a gentleman stopped me. “You run that Web site, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t know of another Martial Arts blogger who was attending.

“I find out about upcoming tournaments from your site.”

Holy crap, no kidding?! Someone’s actually using our tournament info?! AWESOME!

“Wow, thank you,” I said enthusiastically. I skipped back to our ring, feeling really good.

The Grands

Teri and I each felt we performed far better weapons kata during the Grands. It was my very best Chantan Yara performance to date. That’s not saying much but, in a way, it’s still saying a lot. We had three judges, I can’t remember all three scores but I’m pretty sure the high score was 9.97 (THANK YOU) and the low score was a 9.94. What’s funny is that there were 5 of us competing. So, apparently one judge thought I deserved sixth place (out of five). Well, they say sai is a very difficult weapon.

I can’t remember the name of the young man who won. He was from the 18-29 age group and is from Minnesota.

Kumite

There were three women, all of us very different ages. Teri acquiesced  and took third place. I fought and took second. It was a sound beating but I got a point in, so I’m happy. The simple truth is I need to spar more, especially against other black belts and against more aggressive fighters. I’m totally out of my element when I’m at a tournament with “real” fighters and I think it’s just a lack of experience. I’ve reached the decision that I NEED MORE RING TIME. Now, I just need to figure out how to get that.